Red flags can be as subtle as interrupting you one too many times during your conversation. They can look like showing up late or being rude to the coffee shop’s staff. Or red flags can be as big as violating your physical or emotional boundaries. No matter what, make sure you’re doing everything you can to keep yourself safe. Please don’t put up with anything that makes you feel unsafe or uncomfortable. When you’re dating, safety needs to be your number one priority—full stop.
You should always avoid being singled out and alone with your date for too long, at least at the beginning. It’s safer to keep your personal information private, especially at first, until you’ve decided whether you trust your match with it. For example, if you’re a person of faith, you might want to bring that up no matter who you’re on a date with. If they have an issue with your spirituality, it’s better to know that sooner than later so you don’t waste each other’s time. At the same time, don’t ever share something that you don’t feel comfortable talking about. Use trans dating safety practices for privacy, disclosure, consent, verification, public meetings, evidence preservation, and independent exits.
First dates are generally a bundle of excitement, nerves, jitters, and sparks. Remember—you have a lot to bring to the table, and choosing someone to date is as much your decision as it is theirs. The truth is, you’re not for everybody, and not everyone is for you. The right person will find your quirks and imperfections lovable, so there’s no need to shape-shift your way into a stranger’s approval.
Meet in a Public Place Always choose to meet in a public place—the more people, the better. If your date insists that they want to meet somewhere more private, don’t give in. Suggest meeting at a coffee shop or a busy restaurant and checking the other spot out if the first few dates go well.
If you experience anxiety, safety planning can actually reduce stress by giving you concrete control measures. Dating with anxiety means being extra intentional about creating situations where you feel secure. This might mean choosing familiar locations, having firm time limits for first dates, or practicing exit strategies. Of course, you or your potential Bumble date might not be down to start the relationship on a video call. If that’s the case, try to at least confirm who they are online before meeting up. Cyber Dating Expert founder Julie Spira says that a quick search is par for the course these days.
A few minutes of settings can stop you from unintentionally exposing part of your life to a stranger. Tell a friend where you’re going, with whom, and when you expect to be back. Share your date’s profile (a screenshot) and, if your phone allows it, your live location for the evening.
The One Thing That Gives You Permission To Leave
Drink safety is one of the most critical first date safety practices — and one of the most frequently underestimated. Public transit works for first dates at locations near busy transit stops. Avoid transfers that route you through empty stations late at night. If the date runs later than expected, switch to rideshare for the return trip rather than navigating empty transit alone.
There are two simple call tactics worth setting up, and they do different jobs. It’s completely normal to feel nervous before a first date, but you can manage these feelings by shifting your perspective and focusing on preparation. If you want to make sure the date is safe, you need to be safe while you’re in the online phase, too. If you’re not a regular dater and the thought of first dates gives you serious anxiety, don’t worry, you’re not alone. You don’t have to share your whole life story with someone on the very first date. When they receive the code, they can either ring you and fake an emergency, ‘bump’ into you, and stay with you for the rest of the date, or just pick you up from the place.
She says even how they treat the waitstaff, if you’re meeting at a restaurant, can be a good gauge. Signs of disrespect may help inform you about how safe or kind the person you are dating is, says Ms O’Brien. «We can create a little bit more safety by being able to trust ourselves. And while we can make dating safer, Ms Mourikis says there will always be a level of risk, because we can’t control someone else’s choice to be disrespectful or abusive. If you’re still weighing things up more broadly, is online dating safe?
Dating apps increasingly include safety features like photo verification, background checks, and check-in tools. Video dates also let you screen for basic compatibility before investing time and energy in meeting up. You might discover that their texting personality doesn’t match their actual one, or that their sense of humor doesn’t translate to real conversation.
But «trusting Amoredate our gut is one of the most important things we have when meeting new people and dating», says Ms O’Brien. Don’t give out private information about yourself. It’s smart to keep a few details to yourself on a first meeting. Don’t share things like your home or office address right off the bat. You are never being rude by protecting your own comfort, and a person worth dating will never make you feel guilty for it.
Scenario 2: Your Phone Dies
Alcohol lowers your inhibitions and makes it easier for a potential predator to talk you into leaving a public place. If you’re not feeling comfortable, that’s completely OK. Your date should not be pressuring you into having sex with them. If that’s the case, turn them down and go home—better yet, call a friend to meet you. Carry Pepper Spray You can never take too many safety precautions when you’re a single girl, and carrying pepper spray is a great way to have a little extra reassurance. If your date threatens you in any way, you’ll be able to defend yourself quickly and easily.
- None of these behaviors improve with time.
- “Ask for Angela” (UK and spreading internationally) or ordering an “angel shot” (US) alerts staff that you need assistance.
- This doesn’t mean app-based first dates are inherently dangerous, but the built-in social proof of meeting through activities can add comfort.
- The groundwork happens before you ever leave the house.
- «You might notice a feeling within yourself that something doesn’t feel quite right … and we tend to learn to go along with things or overlook things.
On the other hand, if you feel like there’s potential, keep moving forward one date at a time. Why wait forever to go out again if you want to spend more time with them? Tell them what you think and how you feel with kindness and clarity.
If you find concerning information, trust what you learn and reconsider the date. Your safety matters more than giving someone the benefit of the doubt. If the date went well and you want a second one, continue practicing good safety habits. You can relax some precautions gradually as trust builds, but maintain core practices like meeting in public places until you’re genuinely comfortable. Getting to know someone is a process, not a sprint.
Thirty seconds of precaution, zero downside. Meeting up with strangers you first meet online can be a risky business, but by taking measures like the ones we talked about today, the risk is significantly lowered. Knowing that someone else knows where you are going can give you a sense of security and make you feel more at ease during your date. Sharing the details with a friend or family member can help build excitement for the upcoming outing, too. If you give away where you work, where you live, who your family are, and more, you’re giving away your details to a total stranger you’ve primarily spoken to over message. You have to remember that you’re basically meeting a total stranger, so you should do the most you can to minimise the risks.
If you need to step away, finish your drink first or order a new one after. We know that sometimes talking about your dating life can feel a bit explosive, but it’s important to let someone know where you’re going on a date. No one is forcing you to stay on a date if you don’t think the person is right for you, or if you feel things getting uncomfortable.
If you get a weird feeling from the other person, even if you can’t really put your finger on why, it’s totally fine to leave. You can make an excuse or just immediately call a car, but feeling uneasy doesn’t lead to a positive outcome. Meeting someone new should feel exciting, not nerve-wracking.
Do: Pick A Fun Location Or Activity For Your Date
One expert described it as ‘exceptional science’. We ask experts for their advice on increasing the safety of a first date. Schedule a check-in call before your date. Miss it, and a voicemail gives you the perfect excuse to leave.
You’re pumped—ready to get out there, have some fun, and meet someone new. Jacquie O’Brien is the director of communications and community change at Respect Victoria and suggests choosing a dating app that has taken steps to improve user safety. Maintaining moderation with alcohol is crucial during any social encounter, especially on a first-date. Excessive alcohol consumption can significantly compromise your judgment and perceptiveness, potentially hindering your ability to stay vigilant and aware of your surroundings.